Warning signs in children: when to get help

Often part of growing up

• Fears after a move, a new sibling or a new school that ease within a few weeks.
• Tantrums between the ages of two and four.
• Teenagers who pull away from their parents but still have friends and interests.
• A few restless nights after a change.

Signs to have assessed

Make an appointment if one of these lasts for several weeks or keeps getting worse:

• Stomach aches or headaches mostly on school days, after the paediatrician has ruled out a physical cause.
• Withdrawal from friends and from things the child used to enjoy.
• Constant worry, panic attacks, refusing to leave the house.
• Outbursts of rage that frighten the family or hurt others.
• Eating much less, strict control of food, weight loss.
• Cutting, scratching or burning the skin. For this, also read the Emergency page.

After moving to Germany

Many children stay silent in kindergarten or school for weeks or months when everything around them is in a new language. That silent period is common. If a child talks freely at home but still says nothing at all in kindergarten after a long time, ask for an assessment. Selective mutism (selektiver Mutismus) is treatable, and early help makes it easier.

Children who lived through war, flight or violence may have nightmares, startle at loud noises or replay scenes in their games. Safety and routine calm many of these reactions. If they stay for longer than a few weeks or get stronger, look for a therapist with trauma experience (Traumatherapie).

Write it down

A note on your phone is enough: date, what happened, how long, what helped. Three or four weeks of notes tell a therapist more than anything you can remember in a stressful first appointment. Bring reports from kindergarten or school if you have any.